Do you self-sabotage?
I think everyone’s got a voice in their head that tries to set them up to fail. Perhaps it’s a voice that tells them they’re not good enough, or that they can’t do it, or tells them that they’re weak or that they’re slow or that they’re unfit or that they’re fat or that they’re ugly.
Does any of this ring a bell?
Everyone has got some sort of voice and some voices are louder than others. With every negative voice you need a positive voice to shout straight back at it!
The way that I deal with my self-saboteur, is that I don’t let that voice speak too much. I don’t let that voice speak too loudly. And when she does speak in her loud voice, I have this strategy to shut her up!
Firstly, I try and be as self-aware as I can. I try to be really mindful. Be aware of the thoughts in your head. As soon as that negative voice rears its head, I put it back in its place. I do this by replacing every negative thing that it says to me with a positive comeback.
For example, growing a fitness business is really hard. The market is saturated and over-exposed. Sometimes I say to myself that my fitness business is not good enough or it will never grow the way I want it to. This has been the loudest voice in my head for the past few years. It’s a constant battle.
So when this voice speaks to me, I sometime catch myself listening. But not for long. I am aware of what that voice does to me, the feelings she creates. She makes me feel like I’m worthless. That I’m stupid. That I am nothing. Because I know these feelings far too well, I am able to put a lid on her.
As soon as I feel that feeling in my gut, you know the one that stirs around and almost makes you feel a bit sick; I know that I have listened to her and I now know that I need to fight back!
I tell her immediately that what she is saying is mean. Downright mean and she shouldn’t say that.
I tell her that I am doing a good job, in fact I am doing the best I can.
I tell her that what I am wanting to achieve is absolutely possible, it just takes time and perseverance. And a little trial and error…
I tell her that she is a liar and a fake. She does not have my best interests at heart, so why would I listened to her?
Then I do one or all of the following:
1. Go for a run. Shake that voice out of your head. 2. Meditate. A quiet mind is a peaceful mind. 3. Write down a list of all the things I love, am good at or what I am grateful for. 4. Talk about it. It's sometimes better out in the open, rather than swirling around in your head.
When it comes to self-sabotaging your health and fitness, don’t listened to the put-downs or excuses – don’t let the voice become your excuses!
As I’ve mentioned in the past, don’t focus on the negatives, because if you keep enabling yourself to have these negative thoughts, you are just creating more and more barriers and challenges. Eventually, you will let her win.
For every negative comment, say a positive one back. Or, back-chat that BI@*H!! Tell her that her negative comments will not be listened to!
I believe, to some degree, everybody has negative comments in their heads. I mean, the world works in opposites. There’s an opposite of everything. When there’s a negative, there’s a positive. When there’s a hot, there’s a cold. There’s an on, there’s an off. I think it’s impossible for someone to be 100 percent of the time completely and utterly positive. I’m sure the most positive person in the world would have that voice that comes in every now and then, but the difference is they don’t listen to him or her. They are self-aware and they have a sleeve full of comebacks!
The really positive people shut that voice off very, very quickly. They have strategies in place to prevent that voice from coming up or from preventing them from listening to that voice.
As I mentioned earlier, I’m always shutting the voice off. I have a lot of internal dialogue, so I spend a lot of time trying to fight that voice. It comes into play a lot when trying to motivate people. Sometimes people aren’t as motivated or as dedicated as perhaps I want them to be or I feel that they deserve to be.
Sometimes I shoot myself down and say, maybe I’m not the right person to be their Personal Trainer or maybe I’m not inspiring enough for them. But I ignore it. I then draw my attention in and look at positive.
I tell myself that I am good enough because my clients keep coming back…and they tell me that they love my sessions.
But what about those clients that haven’t come back? She asks.
So I tell her that the clients who haven’t come back have got a loud voice in their head.
They listened to that voice. They chose to listen to her, not me.
I tell myself that it’s their voice in their head that’s stopping them from achieving their goals. It’s not me. It’s nothing personal.
Then I tell myself I’ve got to be louder! I’ve got to try and yell over their negative voice!
Can you hear me?
Need to check yourself? Click here to find out if you have fallen victim to any of the top 5 self-sabotaging habits identified by internationally accredited iNLP Centre.