When you sometimes feel you are not good enough
When it comes to my own strength and how much weight I can lift, I feel like I’m not as strong as my peers in my strength class. I feel I am quite weak.
I remember my first few strength classes, I would compare myself to others. Girls were putting weights on the bar and I was struggling to even just lift the bar!
There were girls in the class that weighed less in body weight and most of them were shorter than me. But, they could lift a lot heavier than what I could.
That voice inside my head wanted to tell me I wasn't good enough. But I am all too familiar with her nasty ways, so I made a very conscious decision to not let her speak.
Instead of me feeling disheartened and feeling crap about myself, I leveraged it to inspire me. I started to look at these girls in a positive way.
I stopped allowing thoughts such as: I’m not as good as her or I’m not as strong as her, enter my head
Rather than putting a negative light on it, I started to think: well, I want to be like her. She is not someone I am jealous of or feel inferior to; she is someone I aspire to be like!
Everybody has the tendency to compare. We are human. We all want what the other person has and when we start thinking like that, then we start to think that we are not good enough. We start to believe we don't deserve whatever they have.
Now if you can look at someone and instead of comparing yourself to them, twist that comparison into an aspiration. Use other people to lift you up, to leverage your capabilities.
I think a lot of people look at me and assume that because I’m a Personal Trainer, I must be strong, or I must be fast, or I must be fit.
They assume I’ve always been into fitness.
It’s not always been the case.
In fact, there was a period of time when I was inconsistent with my exercise and I definitely did not prioritise my health.
Deep down I was unhappy and unfulfilled.
Deep down inside I felt I was not good enough. I guess you could say that I felt like I didn't deserve to be fit and healthy. And if you want to dig a bit deeper with me, then I guess you could say that if you don't think you deserve to be fit and healthy, that's another way of saying you lack respect for yourself.
I use to let that inner voice inside my head do all the talking. That negative voice. The one that does not have my best interests at heart.
If so, then what do we do about his lack of respect for one's self?
Well firstly, don't ignore it. Acknowledge it. Label it. Expose her. Don't let this inner disrespect hide anymore. She no longer deserves to be covered up.
Melissa Ambrossini, author of 'Mastering your mean girl,' suggests these three steps that will help you master your self-saboteur; she who makes you believe that you are not good enough:
Practise awareness Become aware of when your Mean Girl pops up and tells you that you’re not good enough, thin enough, whatever enough. Most times we are so unconscious and not present that we aren’t even aware of her internal dialogue, so bringing your awareness to her words is the first step.
Gently close the door on her Once you are aware that she has popped up, you can now choose to gently close the door on her. It’s not about fighting her, or waging an inner battle – that’ll just cause more pain and suffering. Instead, it’s a gently, grateful act that comes from a place of love.
Choose love Once you have gently closed the door on her, choose to come back to your heart and choose love instead of fear. It’s so much more fulfilling when you do.
Hopefully now that you have these strategies, you can begin a different path, a path where you feel that you are more than enough.